Quotes of the Week XIX

27 09 2011

Thank goodness for Ozzie Guillen. He makes doing this weekly list of quotes worthwhile. Now that he’s the Marlins’ skipper, I can’t wait to see what he has to say about Logan Morrison and vice versa.

*****

Syracuse men’s basketball coach Jim Boheim on the difference between where the Big East and ACC conference tournaments are played: “Where would you want to go to to a tournament for five days? Let’s see: Greensboro, North Carolina, or New York City? Jeez. Let me think about that one and get back to you.”

Eli Manning describing Giants receiver Brandon Stokley’s play responsibilities during the Giants’ Monday Nighter versus the Rams last week: “He had a small package. His package got a lot bigger in the middle of the game.”

Greg Norman drawing some sort of comparison between having a guy-to-guy talk with Tiger Woods and a similar talk he once had with Bill Clinton: “We all put our underpants on the same way, one leg at a time. So we sit down and have a chat until two o’clock in the morning.”

Reds second baseman Brandon Phillips on his refusal to give the team a hometown discount if and when he discusses a contract extension with them this off-season: “There’s no homeboy hookup.”

Jimmy Rollins on why pitchers shouldn’t be considered as MVP candidates: “They come in, they get ready, they work hard [before games] and then, for 3½ days, their feet are up in the dugout, chilling.”

Jon Lester on the reason for his three-start struggle in which he’s given up 16 earned runs in 13 2/3 innings: “I stink.”

Phillies manager Charlie Manuel defending his reasoning that players should be in the lineup every day in light of the Phils’ recent struggles: “People hear it but they look at me like I’m stupid or crazy. Maybe I am. But that’s what’s happening. That’s what you’re seeing. We’re out of sync.”

Steve Spurrier dissecting his South Carolina team after they beat Vanderbilt 21-3 last Saturday: “I apologize to Gamecock fans for such a putrid offensive performance.”

Baylor quarterback Robert Griffin III on his choice to jump for the endzone in the midst of five defenders during Baylor’s 56-31 victory against Rice on Saturday. Griffin fumbled the ball to Rice on the play: “You can go out in a blaze of glory and try to jump, or you can live like a sissy and get on the ground, and I chose the blaze of glory route — and it was a blaze.”

Hunter Mahan, sarcastically, after being told “condolences” by NBC’s Roger Maltbie for losing a playoff against Bill Haas in the Tour Championship tournament Sunday. He and Haas were in a battle to secure a $11.4 million payoff for winning the tournament and FedEx Cup title: “Condolences? I didn’t die today, jeez.”

Adrian Peterson after the Vikings blew a 20-0 lead on the Lions and lost 26-23 to them Sunday: “I feel sick right now.”

Ozzie Guillen discussing what he wanted in a contract extension with the White Sox (before reports were made that he reached an agreement to manage the Marlins): “Fuck more years. I want more money.”

More from Guillen, perhaps sarcastically, on how the White Sox should treat him (also before the Marlins-related report): “They should fuckin’ fire me. Look at what I did. I got a great team that play like shit. Why not? I take the responsibility.”

Jon Gruden on what to call the Redskins’ offensive line: “You used to have the Hogs. I don’t know what you’d call these guys…the Hunting Dogs.”

Tony Romo summing up his thoughts to ESPN’s Ed Werder after the Cowboys’ 18-16 win vs. the Redskins Monday night: “It’s football season, so we usually play football.”

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