Quotes of the Week VI

26 02 2010

Response by middle school student Dalten Duncan after a fellow student said “You need to push it in further.”:
“That’s what she said.” Of course, Duncan was given detention because most adults lack a sense of humor.

Carlos Delgado’s agent, David Sloane, after the slugger underwent hip surgery:
“The prognosis is that Carlos Delgado will be the Carlos Delgado of old in four months rather than an old Carlos Delgado.”

Wizards coach Flip Saunders’ speech to his revamped group of players after the NBA trade deadline:

“We’ve got to play like a bunch of mad dogs.”

Oregon football player Jamere Holland in a Facebook status message after teammate Kiki Alonso was supposedly kicked off the team after receiving a DUI:
“how the fuck you kick kinko off the team,,, on some weak shit, niggas always faded he slipped up but ive been slippn up, and I’m still here, that shit weak buff cuh could have done damage for the ducks, that shit is weak, weak ass fuck, quote me”
“chillin thinking of another status to fuck with the readers heads, I wish I could block whites as friends and only have blacks LOL, cause apparently I’m misunderstood.”
To the surprise of nobody, Holland was dismissed from the team Feb. 21.

Shaquille O’Neal:
“When I’m done playing, I want to have four, five or six [championships]. That’s really my focus. I’m not really worrying about useless titles. I want to have four, five or six balls on my desk looking at the Butler Chain of Lakes.”

Shaq on whether he should advise Dwight Howard on how to become a better NBA player:
“Microsoft doesn’t give advice to Apple. So when I retire from Microsoft then maybe I’ll consult with Apple. But right now? No.”

Manny Ramirez probably not realizing the ulterior meaning of his words while discussing how he feels heading into the season:
“From the waist down, I feel 15. From the neck up, I feel 43. I feel good.”

Golfer John Daly on his sponsorship deal with Slix underwear:

“When I’ve got my Slix on, it’s all good.”

Steve Nash on playing a game last Sunday while the U.S.A’s win over Canada in hockey was announced over the P.A. system:

“It was tough. There was a moment where I almost slapped someone in the front row because they kept yelling the score to me but we’re worried about season ticket renewals so I held back.”

Sideline reporter Joe Jankowski reporting on a Buffalo-Kent State basketball game:
“Buffalo has yet to make a basket in…outside the paint. They’ve only scored points off inside-the-paint points or on the foul line. They are the best three-point shooting team in the MAC and they’ve yet to make a point in the hoop….a three-point shot.”

Answer from ‘Chris from Syracuse,’ a long-time caller to Dan Patrick’s radio show, when asked by Patrick if he has ever been outside Syracuse, N.Y:
“Yeah, I’ve been to quite a few sporting events.”

White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen on the organization’s reaction to him running a Twitter account:

“People are treating me like I was a murderer or something, or steal someone’s money or didn’t pay my taxes.”

Cubs manager/old man Lou Piniella answering a question from a reporter about whether he’ll set up a Twitter account:

“What is Twitter? First of all, I don’t know how to Twitter. Second of all, I’m not going to learn how to Twitter. Look, I’ve heard of Facebook. Actually, it’s on my phone; I see it once in a while. But I’m really not a Facebook or Twitter guy, you know? I’m a prime rib and baked potato guy.” I appreciate Lou for not just calling himself a ‘steak and potatos’ guy but actually describing what kind of red meat and what formed of cooked potato he believes he is.

And on that note, I’m picking Mr. John Daly for my favorite quote of this week. It’s all good!



2 responses

26 02 2010
Page Seven

I wonder if Holland would hang out with me sometime?

26 02 2010

solid set… i still like manny’s quote the best.

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